Episode 173 -- December 9, 2021

Four Methods for Self-Care at Work

Self-care is something we hear about all the time. In our low moments, we might scoff at it. It seems indulgent. After all, if we're struggling just to get through the day sober, how can we possibly fit in time for anything else? It might need to wait. In early recovery, our self-care may be limited to working our program, whether that means making our way through the Twelve Steps or following another kind of guidance that helps us stay sober. But later, as we progress in our recovery, we can begin focusing on other ways of caring for ourselves. It's not all about spa days and lattes. We can even learn to incorporate self-care into our daily routines at work.

An Invitation to Self-Care: Why Learning to Nurture Yourself Is the Key to the Life You've Always Wanted by Tracey Cleantis is a practical guide that offers principles and tips rooted in empowerment and self-knowledge. In this excerpt, she offers simple techniques for mindful time management, cultivating meaningful relationships, and "desk-front" self-care that can improve the quality of our workdays.

This excerpt has been edited for brevity.

Self-Care at Work
Work may seem like the opposite of self-care. It may seem more like a time of self-sacrifice or self-denial. But let's think about exactly why you work. What is it you're trying to get out of work? Could it possibly be to take care of yourself? To find personal satisfaction and meaning, and to earn the money you need to put a roof over your head and shoes on your feet? Bingo! Yes, exactly!

Sometimes we forget that self-care is one of the main reasons we work. But, paradoxically, when we work we often completely quit caring for ourselves, thereby undermining the main benefit. In this chapter, we will put self-care back into your work life by looking at limits and boundaries, and making sure to find a way you can keep work meaningful and rewarding.

Practical habits for self-care at work
You can bring self-care into your work in numerous ways. Try these; they can have powerful effects.

MANAGE YOUR TIME MINDFULLY
Take a really honest look at how much you are working. Whether you are an eighty-hour-a-week surgeon or a 168-hour-a-week mother, you need to see what work is demanding of you and whether there is a way to bring self-care into your work life. Maybe the reality is that your work life won't allow you to take a day off just now. Still, try to sneak in some self-care. Avoid scheduling meetings with that difficult person first thing on Monday morning. And don't arrange to do the most difficult work of the day at 3 p.m., just as you start to lose energy. If you really feel stuck, perhaps it is time to talk to trusted friends, your mentor, a business coach, or a therapist to figure out a way forward. Look for micro-changes you could make to your work schedule that can make it more pleasant and more aligned with self-care.

Time management from a self-care perspective might look like this:

1. Not loading any one day with too many stressful activities.
2. Scheduling activities that matter to you other than work, so they are there on the calendar and can't be bumped off so easily. This might include workouts, tea with friends, or time to browse in the local library. Whatever it is, write it in ink.
3. Avoiding multitasking. Multitasking is as elegant and effective as patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time. Earl Miller, a neuroscientist and professor at MIT, says that our brains really can't do two things at once: "Switching from task to task, you think you're actually paying attention to everything around you at the same time. But you're actually not."
4. Creating a list of top priorities for the day and doing those first. Having those biggies behind you will make you feel accomplished, relieved, and less likely to have that hair-on-fire feeling.
5. Setting boundaries around availability. There are times when we need to not be available to co-workers, employees, bosses, and even friends and family.
6. Resisting the temptation to overbook. Don't say yes to something before you take a look at your schedule; even though a dinner out with friends sounds lovely, it won't be lovely if you're so overtired that you are incoherent and drooling. And don't, if at all possible, accept new work responsibilities without considering if you have the self-care resources necessary to take on the task.

ENJOY YOUR WORK ENVIRONMENT
You may not be able to take a long lunch or pop in for a yoga class before your next staff meeting, but you can create a practice of desk-front activities that remind you to take care of yourself. In most environments, self-care can be done even as you work. Here are some ideas for how:

1. Create a healthy work environment; keep a water bottle and snacks in your desk.
2. Sip water as you work—a hydrated brain is a happy brain.
3. Make sure your chair is ergonomically friendly to your back.
4. Stretch regularly. All that sitting, standing, or whatever it is you are doing for those eight hours will take its toll eventually.
5. Keep fresh flowers on your desk.
6. Play music that energizes you or soothes you, depending on your needs.

CULTIVATE RELATIONSHIPS
There are a lot of ways to get self-care from others in the workplace. No man is an island, even if you are a sole proprietor with no employees or an introvert of the highest order. It's important to have people you can moan to, collaborate with, and turn to for support, ideas, and community—not to mention people you can refer to or go to for guidance or grievances. You can find these relationships in peers or professional organizations, or you can turn to a business coach.

MAKE MEANING
Finding meaning in work is absolutely necessary for self-care. Meaning is what shifts you from "I have to go to work" to "I choose to go to work for a clear set of reasons." Knowing why you are doing what you are doing moves you from being a victim into a choice maker, and who wouldn't want that? Actually, a lot of people don't—a lot of people don't want to take responsibility for their choices; they like to lie to themselves that they have absolutely no choice but to do whatever it is they are doing. I am stuck, they think. I am trapped and there is nothing I can do. It is never true. In every situation, there are choices.

If you aren't bringing self-care to work, then you are missing out on major-major-major opportunities. It is easy to imagine that achieving self-care through work is about the money your job brings you. But that would be to miss out on at least eight hours a day of self-care-taking in that setting. And, for sure, self-care can't be just about vacations—it has to show up in our sleep habits, our desire for empty space, lollygagging, procrastination, and other things we see as silliness or even laziness. All of that can be self-care.

About the Author:
Tracey Cleantis Dwyer, LMFT is a best-selling author, depth psychotherapist, and dream/depth coach. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist in California, Colorado and Utah. In addition to An Invitation to Self Care: Why Learning to Nurture Yourself is the Key to the Life You've Always Wanted, she is the author of The Next Happy: Let Go of the Life You Planned and Find a New Way Forward.

© 2017 by Tracey Cleantis
All rights reserved