Episode 215 -- May 5, 2022

One aspect of early recovery is undoing the distorted thoughts we have about ourselves. If we are going to have a full picture of who we are, it must include the places and ways we shine in the world as well as the shortcomings that have hurt us and others. Now, without substances, we are better able to see these things. Humbly recognizing our gifts allows us to enjoy their power and share them with the world with generosity and joy.

The journey of self-awareness and self-care is at the heart of Elizabeth Bishop's new book Conscious Service: Ten Ways to Reclaim Your Calling, Move beyond Burnout, and Make a Difference without Sacriflcing Yourself. In the following excerpt, Bishop challenges us to explore and celebrate what makes each of us great—and she's not interested in lies, or bragging, or puffed-up half-truths. Claiming our greatness is all about honesty.

As our lives become more stable and healthy, we're learning how to give back, offer compassion, and respond to other people's needs. This includes learning how to stay centered and care for ourselves as well. And in order to do that authentically, we need to like ourselves; we need to be on our own sides.

This excerpt has been edited for brevity.

We rarely take a moment to acknowledge the things we love about ourselves. As a rule, most of us tend to downplay our greatness so we won't appear conceited or self-absorbed. If you're at all like me, you want others to acknowledge your gifts and talents, but on those occasions when they actually do, you're quick to minimize their insight. We struggle to receive personal affirmation. Sometimes we even go so far as to deny or contradict it.

We can get stuck in thinking there is nothing terribly unique about us or about what we can offer others. It's time to shake loose that worn-out belief.

Playing small relinquishes our power. Identifying what makes you great is part of sharing your amazing self in the world.

When you embody your greatness with confldence, you have a jumping-off point from which to expand. Going with what comes naturally and easily opens a path of very little resistance and increases the probability of your success. Success enhances your confldence and provides a benchmark you can return to when you are challenged to grow in other areas.

Your greatness lives deep inside your heart as your natural talents and positive qualities, such as curiosity and passion. We feel alive when we embrace and enhance our inherent gifts. Sharing these gifts only adds to our enthusiasm and joy. Any path you set out on with such joyous energy is destined toward something great!

Identifying personal greatness, even in the privacy of your own heart, can be a daunting process. It is very likely that what makes you amazing has been lost on you to this point. Unless we stop to think about our gifts—or someone we trust calls our attention to a speciflc event or action—we rarely notice the things that come naturally and easily.

Start asking yourself what makes you great. Don't be shy about it.

Use joy as a compass in your pursuit. Quite often, what sparks happiness inside is sharing space with your innate talent. See if you can come up with some insights of your own before you start asking others where they think your greatness shines. At this point, use outside opinions only to stimulate your personal discoveries.

You might also be tempted to start making a list of things that you are good at. Be discerning here. We all learn how to do things that have nothing to do with our personal greatness but were fueled instead by our desire for approval, or by the beliefs and values we inherited from others. Sometimes we do these things well. I remember a time when I caught myself exclaiming that a role I was about to accept would "look good on my résumé." It took me a moment to realize that I was building a mental résumé for a job I no longer even wanted!

Embracing your personal greatness can be fun—especially when you don't take yourself too seriously. Seeing yourself as a person of greatness also raises the likelihood that you will experience joy and fulflllment in the process of contributing in the world.

Magniflcence might be found in your sense of humor, your ability to see alternative perspectives, your abiding faith in your power to respond, or your capacity for connection. Your greatness may lie in your particular creative expression, or in your ability to inspire or teach. It may show up in the way you speak or solve problems.

Maybe it's your singing voice; you do you, beautiful.

Noticing and owning your greatness can happen with humility and grace. It is an element of self-confldence that has nothing to do with arrogance, because it's just about facts. Humble confldence makes it easier and more enjoyable to simply be who we are and do what we do. Humble, graceful confldence also makes it possible to look with honest and loving eyes at the parts of you that aren't as well developed.

Your greatness is a reliable resource. It can be a source of strength and competence to draw on when you are called to expand or change. Human beings don't grow as well in environments flooded with judgment and punishment, but we flourish when we feel safe and accepted. By celebrating your unique greatness, you provide such a space for yourself.

Learn how to celebrate moments of accomplishment even more deeply than you agonize over moments when you miss the mark. The only way we can offer the best of ourselves to others is to be able, first, to embrace it within ourselves. To present our most natural gifts in the world, we have to know what these gifts are, what gives them strength, and how we intend to contribute with them. And embracing and celebrating your greatness makes you the ideal guide to help others discover their own.

Life is not meant to be so hard. Living in your greatness makes this human experience a little more graceful and adds an element of ease. Take stock of your personal greatness and stand flrm in the self-confldence it provides. Without you in the world, something would be missing. When we shy away from this truth, we move toward self-abandonment.

What do you feel when asked to identify what makes you great?
Take a breath. Get over it. Then make a list.

About the Author:
Elizabeth Bishop is the creator of The Conscious Service Approach™—practical principles designed to enhance both the experience of service providers and the quality of service they offer. She has taught at the post-secondary level for more than twenty-flve years. Through teaching, writing, podcasts, and organizational consulting, Bishop facilitates an ongoing international discussion about what it means to be of service. Conscious Service is her flrst book.

© 2022 by Elizabeth Bishop
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